Halloween

He enjoyed it so much, the little vampire slayer. Watching him be so happy made me overwhelmed with joy. The older one was hard to catch on film. She was a cheetah when she went to school because that was cool enough for middle school but after she was a southern belle with the parasol, white gloves and a big ole bonnet. She was lovely. Emma, my dog was an ewok for a short miserable moment. She hated it.

Life Update

I started this blog when i was 50ish. I was adjusting to being a new grandmother. Nana was my favorite word. I changed my entire life in order to help raise my granddaughter. It was all that I imagined and all that I hoped for. My granddaughter brought me so much joy, there are no words I can think of to express how wonderful it was. The joy was so strong it made everything negative in my life seem so trivial in comparison. There were many dark days, however. I had an emergency hysterectomy one month after my granbaby was born. That was a very unpleasant experience. Physically painful, emotionally a rollercoaster. But with the support of my loving husband and the help of my doctors, I came through that strong. But having my daughter and her husband and at the new baby all under my roof put a strain on personal relationships. I can't lie that the joy of having my grand baby so close and almost completely under my control made me overlook things that have lead to many recurring issues that should have been dealt with at the time but now are difficult issues we deal with and are having a hard time overcoming. So where am i now, granbaby girl is on the verge of becoming a teenager and we have a granbaby boy who is 8. Many things have happened and grandkids and their mom are under our roof. It is a stressful situation and often hostile. The kids are perfect and the sunshine of my life. The hubs and I have been on a rollercoaster for years but still together and and still a team. We love each other and want to support each other but outside influences make it a struggle. He is retired and home all the time. Wow that’s a challenge! We’re working on it! I started to crochet again when I found out I was going to be a grandmother. I truly embraced it and enjoyed it. I joined forums and started this blog, made online friends and followed many blogs. Then I discovered scrapbooking. It brought me a whole new set of crafting joy. For years it was my outlet. Keeping memories was the extra of my creative outlet. Where am I now? Well, that’s a story for another day. But I am trying to make lemonade out of lemons.

Life Goes On...Life Is Good

We are adjusting to the new normal. The kids spend 2 days a week and every other weekend with Dad at the new house. Originally I was against this idea because I do everything for these little ones. Laundry, food and clothing shopping, snacks, play dates; everything. I felt, either I do everything and pack it up for someone else to benefit from my work or walk away and say your days your kids. Long story short, I do it for them and they will be the only ones who will miss out if i stop. I sucked it up, put on my big girl pants and decided that what I do for them should not change just because the grown ups in there life are acting stupid. So the calendar has become my best friend, who's day is it, what are they doing, what is the weather, what kind of clothes will they need, who has there swimsuits & sweatshirts, laundry, laundry, packing and unpacking. When I am with them I try to make it fun and try to plan outings. But sometimes they tell me Nana, I just want to stay home. On those days, I let them stay in their pj's watch TV in bed and make them their favorite snacks. All in all, I think I am blessed to be able to to have them in my life and be able to be their comfort blanket and place of normal.

Coming attractions...we are struggling with the idea of do we renovate to make us all fit more comfortably in my house or move and start fresh. I live in Bergen County and although housing prices have dropped, the type of space I would need is very expensive. If I moved south or west, I could get a lot more house and land for the money, but the kids would be far from their Dad. That would make him crazy and he would make our life crazy. If we buy new in this area, we would get into debt at a point when we were planning to just slow down and enjoy our golden years. If we renovate, we could control the cost, but have to live with the mess, 2 kids and a crazy schedule for who knows how long. Spin the wheel...more to follow.

On the up side, my grandson, is now 2 1/2 and a big bundle of joy and love. My grand daughter is 7 a sweet young lady with a stubborn streak that make me crazy.

Life goes on...Life is Good!

Listen to Your Inner Voice

So much has happened since I last posted and then again nothing new has happened. My daughter's marriage fell apart. This was both a shocking surprise and at the same time something my inner voice told me would happen. Twelve years ago, when my daughter told me she was in love with this man, i had my doubts. Not because i felt there was anything terribly wrong with him, but because I did not see that he had the same life goals and long term values that i wanted for my daughter. But she was so happy and isn't that what every parent wants for their child. my daughter was a very rebellious teen and those years were so hard and unhappy for her and us that to see her happy made my heart melt. We gave her the wedding of her dreams. Spent all the money that we had saved for her to go to college but she refused to go. To this day, people tell me that it was the best wedding they ever went to. Whatever she wanted, if i could afford it she got it. But behind the scenes his family was so difficult and disrespectful. I kept telling myself, maybe I am too sensitive, or maybe they don't realize that is rude or maybe they think we are the Trump family! For example, his father RSVP that he would not be attending because he did not have a tux to wear. I told him that a tux was not required, that anything that he felt was appropriate for church or out to dinner would be fine, he responded that he would not attend if he would feel like the poor relation. Long story short, in order for him to attend and not break his son's heart I told him to go to the tuxedo rental place where the wedding party was getting attired and pick something and put it on our tab. Of course he picked the most expensive outfit they had and never returned it so we had to pay full retail value. We never brought this up because we did not want my new son-in-law to be embarrassed by his family. But that was ten years ago, water under the bridge. In those 10 years, 2 beautiful remarkable child rend came into our lives. They became the center of my life. We have put our own life on hold in order to make their lives better. Now I am not sure that was such a good idea. As the marriage falls apart, our role as caregivers and providers becomes less important. i have come to learn (the hard way, that grandparents have not rights, only what the parents chose to give them)

Visit SWAP MAMAS

Things Could Be Worse

I have had a very rough 6 months. When I see what some people have to over come it makes me feel frivolous. I am so grateful for what I have. I will try to share my good fortune with those who are so much more in need. I will be thankful.

Hello Out There

It has been almost a year since I blogged. So much has happened and not in a crafty way. I have started a few projects but have not been able to complete them. I did manage to make a blanket and hat for a baby born to someone I love. Made me feel good and want to do more creative things. My life is on the verge of big changes due to family drama. Funny--my last post was not drama. Things have changed a lot since then and not for the better. I will be posting again and bring my blog up to date.

BIG GIVEAWAY

...for all you scrapbookers, and/or cricut users. check this out
Everyday Scrapbooker

No Drama

Easter was nice. Family came over, dinner was very simple. Everyone played nice! So rare with our family gatherings. I liked it.

Happy Easter

I wish all of you that celebrate Easter a very happy day.

I miss the days when we would go shopping for the perfect Easter outfit for the kids and dress them up. The go to a crowded church for mass then meet the family for brunch. Somehow we stopped doing the brunch and eventually stopped going to church and now we still get together but don't dress up or do any of the other "Easter" things. The kids get baskets and color eggs, but the whole meaning is gone. I know it is our fault that this happened but I still miss the old days.

Ta Dah...

Like I said, no great work of art. But at least it's done. I have a busy day today. A friend is coming for dinner and I have nothing prepared and my house is a disaster from the kids playing and making a mess everywhere they go. Have a great Easter, those of you that celebrate. It is going to be a beautiful spring weekend here. I will be cooking dinner for 14 and again nothing prepared. So I need to go do what I should be right now!

Completed MY Layout!

Took me long enough but I finally did it. Such a small thing but makes me feel like I accomplished something. Now all I need to do is take a picture and post it :) Will do that as soon as I get a moment with some good lighting. Now this is no great work of art, it actually took me more time to whine about it than to complete it. Now I will look for my sketch for my next one.

Scrap On Week 2

I picked my sketch and my picture. Seeing how it is already Thursday. I better get a move on.

Well I did it

Please excuse the poor quality of the photo, my scanner is not big enough and my lighting is poor. Although it is not my best work, I do do feel good that I finished it. Just used paper from my stash. I do not have a huge stash. I would have liked to use fabric flowers, but i did not have any so I just cut some out of pattern paper. I am looking forward to my next project.

Scrap On Update

So I found a sketch, picked the paper and printed the photo. Then I was browsing through one of my albums and realized that duh, I already used this photo in a layout. Just proves how long it's been since I did a layout. So now I have to decide--find another photo to fit the sketch and paper, or find another sketch. I am leaning towards another sketch and photo. So far I like this one, which is more of a scraplift. But the papers I picked may not go with the photo. If I am going to post a layout by Monday, I am going to have to get on the ball. Sure wish I did not have all that laundry to do.

Preliminary Sketch

So far this is what I am thinking of.
It was a lot harder to find a sketch than I thought. I had one in my head that I saw somewhere, but of course, I could not remember where I saw it. I finally settled on this because it is more important that I just do it. Otherwise, like many of my projects, it will remain an I want to do and not a done. I need to get in the habit of doing.

Getting My Scrap On!

As I mentioned before, I have been having a little problem with my mojo. A fellow blogger, the very talented Adrienne was having a similar problem and suggested a scrap-along. I have done crochet-alongs in the past and really enjoyed them. It also helped me to try things I might never have on my on. This is the first time, I am scrapping with others people. I have never been to a crop, although they sound like fun. I am excited to do this, so that is a very good thing. This is how it will work, and anyone who wishes to join us, well the more the merrier.

So I have some pictures printed out and I am going to scrap them.

Every Monday I will pick a sketch that I am going to use.

I am going to make it a GOAL to do ONE layout a week.

I want to try and do this for an entire month, so by months end I SHOULD have four LO's.

I will post the sketch that I am going to work from. Once I get my layout finished I will post it on her and a link to Adrienne blog where she will get them all linked in her post. So she actually has most of the hard work :)

This should be fun and I am really excited.

Here is a list of the ladies that are gonna play. If you want me to add your name to this let me know and she will get it up there:

Cynta
Kisha
Mrs. Saditty
Neecha
KeeKee

I think this will inspire me to post more often and maybe even get my mojo back for my yarn crafts. I have been thinking I want to take a class at Michaels to learn to knit. I have tried it before but never felt comfortable enough to actually make a garment.

So let's see how this goes. I feel gunho now, but by the time the kids go home and I am done with dinner and dishes, well that is just another story. Will look for my sketch now. Will keep you posted :->

New Day New Attitude

A lot has happened since my last post which seemed a little dark. I felt I was in the need for change. The end of winter is such a hard time for me. I get a bad case of cabin fever. Being locked indoors with a toddler and a 5 yo is rough. I am not a cold weather outdoor person. And packing up 2 kids to freezing my butt off, is not my thing. I give a lot of credit to moms that have 2 or more kids, and are involved in everything and even have time to be creative. Just not me. Not because I'm old, I was this way at 25 when my kids were young. But my dh and i went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, my first time. It turned out that we were there for superbowl so it was doubly crazy. A fun experience, everyone such try it at least once. My dh and I reconnected. We really needed that. When we got back, we all got this really nasty stomach virus that lasted about 4 days. I do feel better now, mentally and otherwise. I want to work on myself and make time for things I enjoy. I am so looking forward to spring, even though I just heard we are getting another big snow storm this week. :( I am coping with all that I have on my plate and I am grateful that it may be a crazy stressful life but I am so blessed to have people that I love and that love me. I leave you with a few photos of Mardi Gras and the last snow storm.

Working on my Mojo

It is almost February and I have not been able to shake the end of the year wtf blues. I need to make some major personal changes in how I live my life. But in the am when I feel like crap, I allow myself to be overwhelmed by the minor inconveniences that are part of life. I don't want to be ther person I am now. I am so much better than that. I have more to offer than that. The people on the outside see me in a different light. They see me as someone who has it all together and when i try to explain that I am not all that, they dismiss me like I am just looking for a compliment, or that nothing is good enough for me. But that is not it at all. I want to wake up each day with a feeling of purpose. I want to tackle the things that will make me feel whole. I really want to handle all the things that are a part of daily life without feeling overwhelmed. I need to be happy if i just do everything ok and not great. I need to be able to live in the moment and not feel that I am letting life pass me by.

HAPPY NEW YEAR - YOU ARE AWESOME!