We are adjusting to the new normal. The kids spend 2 days a week and every other weekend with Dad at the new house. Originally I was against this idea because I do everything for these little ones. Laundry, food and clothing shopping, snacks, play dates; everything. I felt, either I do everything and pack it up for someone else to benefit from my work or walk away and say your days your kids. Long story short, I do it for them and they will be the only ones who will miss out if i stop. I sucked it up, put on my big girl pants and decided that what I do for them should not change just because the grown ups in there life are acting stupid. So the calendar has become my best friend, who's day is it, what are they doing, what is the weather, what kind of clothes will they need, who has there swimsuits & sweatshirts, laundry, laundry, packing and unpacking. When I am with them I try to make it fun and try to plan outings. But sometimes they tell me Nana, I just want to stay home. On those days, I let them stay in their pj's watch TV in bed and make them their favorite snacks. All in all, I think I am blessed to be able to to have them in my life and be able to be their comfort blanket and place of normal.
Coming attractions...we are struggling with the idea of do we renovate to make us all fit more comfortably in my house or move and start fresh. I live in Bergen County and although housing prices have dropped, the type of space I would need is very expensive. If I moved south or west, I could get a lot more house and land for the money, but the kids would be far from their Dad. That would make him crazy and he would make our life crazy. If we buy new in this area, we would get into debt at a point when we were planning to just slow down and enjoy our golden years. If we renovate, we could control the cost, but have to live with the mess, 2 kids and a crazy schedule for who knows how long. Spin the wheel...more to follow.
On the up side, my grandson, is now 2 1/2 and a big bundle of joy and love. My grand daughter is 7 a sweet young lady with a stubborn streak that make me crazy.
Life goes on...Life is Good!
Monday, June 27, 2011
So much has happened since I last posted and then again nothing new has happened. My daughter's marriage fell apart. This was both a shocking surprise and at the same time something my inner voice told me would happen. Twelve years ago, when my daughter told me she was in love with this man, i had my doubts. Not because i felt there was anything terribly wrong with him, but because I did not see that he had the same life goals and long term values that i wanted for my daughter. But she was so happy and isn't that what every parent wants for their child. my daughter was a very rebellious teen and those years were so hard and unhappy for her and us that to see her happy made my heart melt. We gave her the wedding of her dreams. Spent all the money that we had saved for her to go to college but she refused to go. To this day, people tell me that it was the best wedding they ever went to. Whatever she wanted, if i could afford it she got it. But behind the scenes his family was so difficult and disrespectful. I kept telling myself, maybe I am too sensitive, or maybe they don't realize that is rude or maybe they think we are the Trump family! For example, his father RSVP that he would not be attending because he did not have a tux to wear. I told him that a tux was not required, that anything that he felt was appropriate for church or out to dinner would be fine, he responded that he would not attend if he would feel like the poor relation. Long story short, in order for him to attend and not break his son's heart I told him to go to the tuxedo rental place where the wedding party was getting attired and pick something and put it on our tab. Of course he picked the most expensive outfit they had and never returned it so we had to pay full retail value. We never brought this up because we did not want my new son-in-law to be embarrassed by his family. But that was ten years ago, water under the bridge. In those 10 years, 2 beautiful remarkable child rend came into our lives. They became the center of my life. We have put our own life on hold in order to make their lives better. Now I am not sure that was such a good idea. As the marriage falls apart, our role as caregivers and providers becomes less important. i have come to learn (the hard way, that grandparents have not rights, only what the parents chose to give them)
Saturday, March 12, 2011
I have had a very rough 6 months. When I see what some people have to over come it makes me feel frivolous. I am so grateful for what I have. I will try to share my good fortune with those who are so much more in need. I will be thankful.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
It has been almost a year since I blogged. So much has happened and not in a crafty way. I have started a few projects but have not been able to complete them. I did manage to make a blanket and hat for a baby born to someone I love. Made me feel good and want to do more creative things. My life is on the verge of big changes due to family drama. Funny--my last post was not drama. Things have changed a lot since then and not for the better. I will be posting again and bring my blog up to date.